We're Moving. Soon this blog will merge with the new Modern B*a*g Ladies Website. We're working on some great projects and gaining some more focus. Thank you for your continued support and patiently following along. We hope you'll invite more of your friends as we will be providing the vehicle to share your stories, to challenge you to take action and to help our sisters.
Rosi said, "You've come a long way. Just look at what you've accomplished." I find her words encouraging. I've heard those words a few times in the last year from amazing sister friends.
Nearly two years ago I wrote my first blog post. (Excuse me while I reflect upon this milestone: Who is this B*a*g Lady Anyway.) I wrote, "You're probably wondering who the heck is this BAG Lady and why is she writing these posts. Well there was no election, so I wasn't voted in as "THE" BAG Lady, but there in lies the beauty of it. All women are welcome and there's no test, no panel of experts and no debates. I just basically volunteered because I've observed the women around me seeking some Believe Act Go power. I thought, "Self, we (women) could use some collective BAG. My sincere hope is that I can inspire, the Belief in yourself,,the desire to Act and the vision to Go where your dreams meet your reality."
3 1/2 years ago I became acutely aware that I was traveling on too busy, mom, wife, career woman highway. I thought my exhaustion and spiritual emptiness was the price every woman had to pay for success. I did have a physical wound. Surgery took care of that. During the 6 weeks of medical leave I was forced off of the fast lane to reflect on how I had arrived at this place. The physical wound soon healed, but it was just the beginning of my spiritual healing.
We're fast approaching the 2 year anniversary of this blog. 2 years ago I wrote about not being a casualty of corporate America, which by the way is not the enemy. Casualty? Kind of dramatic. Myrna was my life coach at the time. I told her I needed an escape plan. She interpreted that to mean that I needed to replace the income my career had delivered. I would have thought the same thing if I were her. I wasn't quite sure where I needed to go or how exactly I was going to get there, but I did know I had much more too offer AND for a purpose much bigger than myself.
Self discovery, which we call Discovering Your B*a*g, can't be accomplished through a 6 week on-line training course. It's a life long journey. With this in mind, I remind myself not to be so hard on myself and less critical of the pace of my so called "escape". When I hear the words Rosi shared with me today I am reminded that it's about the journey. I hope you'll keep riding along with me on this journey and invite more as well. Here's Modern B*a*g Ladies on Facebook and Twitter.
Mom to 8 year old son, "Gavin, What should I write about?"
Son replies, "Write about the bag lady in Vegas, duh mom,"
Gavin and I were in Vegas spending some time with dad and husband this last weekend. Tom works in Vegas. He works for Lifetime Fitness, a high-end fitness and wellness company. He's in charge of the on-site construction of their fitness centers, which takes up to 16 months to build. He comes home to Minnesota 3 weekends a month. We thought it would be nice to see where dad spends most of his days.
As I merged the Modern B*a*g Ladies' graphic with the photo of the original Vegas sign, the contrast and similarities hit me. At the bottom left of the MBL graphic it says, "follow the signs". Now if I were lost in the middle of the desert, Vegas would be the flame and I would be the moth. The signs are so obvious. The contrast between the dull tan desert landscape and the enormity and gaudiness of the strip causes me to admire the engineering and entertainment feats, yet disgust in the waste and excess.
Vegas causes me to immediately crawl into my shell. In these environments of enormous energy I question my nature and do self destructive comparisons. The more self aware I am, the stronger the contrasts become. What I know about myself, and what I have written about before, is that my Traveling Sanctuary has a diesel motor, which is to say that I like things slow and easy going, like the subtle rolling hills in MBL graphic.
Diesel motors need to stay plugged in (at least in cold weather) to get their engine going. In contrast, a zippy 5 speed motor needs more coolant to keep it's engine running. My husband and son definitely have 5 speed motors and my daughter has a diesel motor. Tom and Gavin fill the space with high energy. Paige and I can sit quietly for hours and be perfectly content.
Neither is right or wrong. It is as it was meant to be. Being aware is the key and accepting your gift, which is your born nature is a form of self love.
Think about your Traveling Sanctuary engine and what type of fuel you need. This diesel motor needs a dose of high octane jet fuel from time to time. And I believe 5 speed engines need to find their own personal formula of coolant from time to time.
What type of Traveling Sanctuary car are you? Make? Model? Color? You can see mine above in the graphic. Hey, it's actually a little sporty. I even have the top down. I'm not sure Thunderbirds came with diesel motors, but this my blog and I can imagine anything I want.
Picturing yourself as a car can help you think about what fuel you need and your proper maintenance schedule. Use your imagination and draw a mental picture. When I am in a high energy environment, I am not joking when I say that I remind myself that I am diesel motor. It has value and I don't need to swap motors. I was meant to have this engine.
I bet I have read more in the last 3 years than I have my whole life leading up to that point. I even braved the laser beam stares during a Pee Wee hockey game IN MINNESOTA because I just had to finish that book to the left. I just couldn't put the book down. My son WAS NOT on the ice, but according to my husband I was still committing a mortal hockey sin.
The book, A Million Miles in a Thousands Years, was a gift from Chris Brogan and Donald Miller.
Here's how that came about via Chris Brogan's blog......Chris states, "I’d love for you to write a quick blog post about the importance of story in your life. That’s it. If you want, link back to http://www.chrisbrogan.com/importance-of-story, so I’ll see the trackbacks as well."
The first 100 people to post an article, regarding the importance of story in their lives, on their blog, would get a book. Here's the article I wrote, Reasons to Surround Yourself with People You Admire.
When I read a good book I like to share and I love when you share your favorites as well (do that in the comments below. Hint. Hint). So, in preparation to compose this review, I go to Donald Miller's website. As the page comes up I think to myself, (causing a distortion on my face which causes that deep crease between my eyes), "It's a sign. One Don Miller giveaway followed by another." I feel as it I have already won.
Here's Don's offer. You and a friend (I can't wait to ask a friend to go) can win a trip to Portland Oregon for the Living a Better Story Seminar being held September 26th and 27th.
CONTEST RULES
1. Write a blog telling us about the kind of story you want to live. It might help to read A Million Miles in a Thousand Years to better understand what this means. The story doesn’t have to be a life story, it can be what you want to do next year, or for the next few years.
2. Tell us a little about how you think the seminar might help you out. You don’t have to get detailed, just let us know specifically what you’re hoping to get from the seminar. This will help us cover all our bases as people come to Portland.
4. Embed this video on your blog: (at the end of the post)
5. Submit a link to your blog in the comments on THIS blog entry. If you submit a question about the contest, we will unfortunately have to delete the question because we are trying to keep the entries clean and organized.
Here's The Story....Once upon a time there was a very shy girl. She was a good girl. The only dreams she had were at night, except for one day dream. Her day dream was to be on stage, singing, but mostly dancing. As a teenager she took the stage on the softball field. The bat, her microphone. The pitch. The Swing. Crack! The beat. Her feet. She dances her way around the bases. She slides across the stage. Dirt flies. Safe! A trio. The crowd roars. Music to her ears. Truly the first sisterhood, for which she belonged. The band worked together, laughed together, cried together, won together and lost together. Her confidence soared on that stage. The tour ended. The day dreams ceased.
Not until many years later did she again have huge day dreams, a day job and a night passion. Her day dreams creep into the night, hence her lack of sleep most nights. She's writing this at 2:30 am on a Saturday morning. She feels THAT feeling, she calls OH YES Moments, that reminds her of days on the dirt stage. There's something in common between then and now. Women. Team. Acceptance. Passion. Fun. Joy. Low Fear.
Her belief, that girls who didn't go to college get married, led her into a 23 year career in a male dominated industry. (Long story, which involves a marriage, the need for health insurance, a divorce and a re-marriage.) Who knew she would stay so long, but the benefits were so nice. Would she allow the testosterone to numb her feminine power forever, for fear of non-acceptance? Some days, most, she questioned what she wanted and how she would get there. Glimpses of her glory days on the field came and went.
Her daughter says mom has a very boring story. If she could only see mom's vision. PICTURE THIS: Millions of women carrying a Traveling Sanctuary Tote B*a*g. Inside holds the story of a woman and a scavenger hunt, challenging women to travel and Discover their B*a*g (believe act go). When women accomplish a challenge, a donation is provide, by sponsors, to organizations that help women in shelters. The power of giving to someone else through you giving to yourself, that's the most eco-friendly, renewable fuel source in the universe.
THE GOAL: Tell stories that fuel infinite Traveling Sanctuaries. The tote bag is a walking billboard that tells a story and allows you to open up a dialogue about your dreams and values. It is a metaphor that represents you as a Traveling Sanctuary. What are you fueling it with? Do you have the right tools? Are you traveling outside of your comfort zone, because this is where you meet your OH YES Moments and Discover Your B*a*g. It will create an inclusive sisterhood, where women feel free to strip off their labels and help each other.
Future plans involve providing women in shelters access to the fuel and tools afforded to women who have resources. These resources include: lap-top computers with wireless cards, smart-phones, access to online training, which can be delivered through mobile applications and specific to all women's needs.
We will start with a simple canvas bag, like the one I started carrying 3 years ago. What did I say I started doing three years ago? I started to read more stories. I didn't just put books in that bag. I put all kinds of things. I called it my Traveling Sanctuary. What I came to understand is that that bag was a metaphor for me. I am the Traveling Sanctuary and I needed to fuel and tool it properly so I could provide fuel and tools to others.
The past three years I have been slowly building a community of women and a platform from which to execute the plan. I have met so many amazing women. I will begin by, helping them, tell their story. A new website will soon launch and I am currently working on our first story, tote bag and scavenger hunt.
HER CHALLENGE: Will her daughter lose herself, only to find her again mid-life? Was her mom meant to have a 39 year introduction section to your real life story? Perhaps. She convinces herself that she needs to accept the fact that she was born with a diesel motor, "Slow to start, but when she stays plugged in and gets going she's POWERFUL". She needs to strip away the bought and borrowed beliefs that has delivered too many things, debt and a false sense of security. When you think about it, it is somewhat similar to a woman who stays with an abusive partner. The fear of the unknown causes a false sense of security. Either way it's a risk. You doubt you have the resources or courage to venture out on your own. There is a family to think about; their needs and their security as well. This is a challenge of many women, more so for single mothers.
The girl is ready to take the stage. In September she hopes to be set out on a challenging scavenger hunt, which involves more than reading and listening. She needs a little push and to be held accountable. Actions speak louder than words. Let's amaze each other by what we can do in just a few short days.
Your own sleeping child is just, well........the most amazing and heart warming sight on the face of the earth. Quiet. Innocent. Soft round rosy cheeks. Huge eyelashes. You lay next to her and all is right in the world. How could I have yelled at her, over a few crumbs on the back seat of the car. The perfection of God's love. If you're a mom of a child or mom of a beloved dog, I know, you know exactly what I am talking about. Your heart swells and you feel as if it is literally smiling. You must be beaming. The ray of the sun couldn't be as bright and warm. Inhale.........Mmm.......strawberry, watermelon. Oh the feeling of a bath just before bed. She smells so sweet. You could just gobble her up.
Now, I have a favor to ask. Outstretch your arms. Place your right hand on your left shoulder and your left hand on your right shoulder. Imagine you are laying next to yourself as a sweet sleeping child. Close your eyes and squeeze. You are God's love in perfection. You are a gift. You are innocent. You are well just the most amazing spirit on the face of the earth. Can't quite get there? I know it takes practice, but we must find ways to express our love to ourselves.
As I observe families with diaper bags at my 8 year old's baseball game, I have this idea, but first I think to myself, "I am so happy to be over the diaper stage," I couldn't watch any of my daughter's athletic games when Gavin was a toddler because he was into everything, crawling away and begging to play at the playground. At some point the diaper bag turns into a toy bag, which turns into a technical gaming bag, which turns into a sports bag and a school book bag. Over time the pampering and fun B*a*g disappears.
So, back to my idea. Imagine your handbag as a diaper bag. Are you prepared to treat yourself as well as you would treat a precious little baby?
Time to play a matchy-matchy game. Empty the contents of your handbag/tote bag and compare them to the contents of a diaper bag. Ask yourself, "Does my B*a*g say, "I Love Myself."
Diaper = ?
Baby Wipes = ?
Nourishing Formula/Breast Milk and Food = ?
Diaper Rash Cream = ?
Soft White Clean Under Shirt = ?
Teething Ring = ?
Picture Book = ?
Crayon/Color Book = ?
Toys = ?
Lotion = ?
Sunscreen = ?
Now I'm hopping in my stroller and taking a little stroll. Looking at the world with wonder. "Hey! How did I get my toe in my mouth?" Must be those yoga classes. NOT!!!
Photo credits MarloElaine & Sweet Little Baby Kim with her brothers
This is where I go for lunch at least once a week, Hope's Harvest Health Food Store. I love everyone that works there. I get more than a healthy dose of good food. Their spirit fuels me. Susan, the owner, puts love in the food. When she makes your sandwich she thinks to herself, "I love you." You can taste the love. There's a sign in the window that says Hippies Welcome.
This is a Hibiscus flower. Did you know you could drink flowers?
This is spearmint. It goes really well with Hibiscus.
1 Gallon Water
1 Glass Container
2-3 Tablespoons Dried Hibiscus
1 Tablespoon Spearmint
8 hours of Sunshine
Strain
Enjoy!
Surround yourself with people that fuel your spirit by sharing their (H)(E)art. I learned about Sun Flower Power. Drink Up. Fuel Up.
Nothing tickles my dork more than RE-purposed, RE-designed, RE-cycled, RE-sourced and RE-allocated tools. Just call me Kim the Tool Lady Lampe, manufacturing joy with re-purposed tools. I wrote a series of articles about this subject on The Survivor Manual.
Tool (noun) – Any instrument of use or service.
Tool (noun) – A weapon.
Tool (noun;person) – A person used as an instrument by another person.
Joy is an assembly of many simple parts. We must find the tools to put them together. We already posses some tools. Be creative. Re-purpose what you already carry in your tool bag. Seek new tools when necessary. Share your tools. You are a powerful instrument.
My daughter provided a new definition the other day. Tool - A boy with no substance. I gather this means, someone who is easily used and manipulated. And in reference to boys I gather she means a boy who allows his little brain to control his big brain. So, tools are very powerful. It's important to use them wisely.
Be On the Lookout for Your Tools - Here are Some Examples
EXAMPLE #1 Re-designed ~ Solves Problems
Re-designed tools are awesome especially when the designers consults with the users and involves them in the re-design process. Ty Pennington (yes the Ty from Extreme Home Makeover) helped Similac re-design the container of their baby formula powder. I think it's genius in it's No DUH factor and it reminds me of the re-designed paint cans with easy pour spouts, sturdy handle and screw on lid.
Here's what's new:
* Less mess with the scooper caddy. * Easy grip design, when a very tired mom is holding baby and trying to make formula at 3am * Hinged lid so it doesn't get lost * Contoured bottom so the scoop can get the last bit of powder, so there is no waste
Example #2 - Re-Cycled ~ Eliminates Waste
Goingreen is a registered trademark of the promotional company Norwood.
It's pretty much common knowledge that drinking water is good for you. Some will tell you that you need 10 - 8 ounce glasses a day. Dr. Oz will tell you that you don't need that much because your food contains water as well. Either way, what is the worse thing if you drank too much water? Probably just more trips to the bathroom.
So, a tool everyone should have in their B*a*g is a water bottle. I was gifted a new one yesterday and I was pleased to see that, even though it was made of plastic, it was also, #1 recyclable, biodegradable and made from recycled materials. Whether companies are getting on the green band wagon purely for profit or because they genuinely care for the environment, it's a good thing.
Another favorite tool I have is clipped onto my handbag, It's handy reusable bag. It's compact and ready at a moments notice. Doing your part to help the environment undoubtedly gives a person joy with each plastic bag not used. Use RE-usable bags. It's so simple. I bought mine from Wisepack.
Example #3 Easy Re-Source ~ Timely
Lynda where have you been my whole life? Oh Lynda you're so fine. You're so fine. You blow my mind. Listen to Lynda's story. I'm in love. I think I have found my benchmark company. I need to learn new digital tools and I have found my easy RE-source. It is timely, easy to use and has excellent content. AND I love Lynda's story. This is their mission and motive quoted directly from their website.
lynda.com: Our mission
Helping you learn, master, and apply digital tools and techniques.
Motivation
Here at lynda.com, we believe in life-long learning. We believe that education is power, knowledge creates opportunity, and that technology should be accessible to everyone. Our goal is to make everything we know available to you to help reach your creative and career goals.
We believe no one should be phased out, that everyone has a “new and improved” version inside, and that comprehensive, straightforward training can make a world of difference.
We want you to not only gain skills, but to also gain confidence. We encourage you to jump in feet first and walk away smarter than you were before. We forever support you in your aspirations to never stop learning, and never stop growing.
Example #4 Re-Allocate - Money
"Collectively, Americans and Europeans spend $17 billion a year on pet food. We could do much more than feed the family of mankind and our cats and dogs; we could assist that family in acquiring the basic skills and tools it needs to feed itself, while maintaining the natural resources on which all life depends." (Small Wonder by Barbara Kingsolver)
It's not important how much money we accumulate in our B*a*g. It's important how we allocate the money we have. I am starting to follow Wise Bread. Wise Bread is a community of bloggers here to help you live large on a small budget. Despite what you may have heard, you don't have to sacrifice your financial independence to enjoy life. Money is a tool to be allocated for the joy of all. I think the word for that is philanthropy.
Now......... to Re-Tool Your B*a*g
The next time my husband asks, "Can I buy a welder to build the trailer to haul the Bobcat (moves dirt)?." The answer will be no, no and no. What's with boys and their Tools!? Gotta love em, for sure. They're always burning things up and playing in the dirt. Have a one time job that needs a special tool? RENT IT!
Think about your tools. Do they need a RE-DO? Apply the RE. RE-purpose, RE-design, RE-cycle, Easy RE-source and RE-allocate your tools.
Yes, it's true, the best fuel is free. That is, fuel for your Believe Act Go Traveling Sanctuary. And a Victoria Secret Catalog Contains Free Fuel.
Fuel - Intangible energy you generate from within your feminine power. It is eco-friendly and infinitely renewable. Your joy and love shared with others fuels the fuel, multiplying the fuel. It's a beautiful cycle.
Case in point:
One Daughter
One Mom
One Friend
Friend's kitchen
One Victoria Secret Catalog
Passing the time, waiting to savor an amazing Fourth of July meal I flip through a Victoria Secret catalog, sitting on the kitchen island counter top."Paige, assuming I am 50 pounds lighter and would look fabulous in any of these outfits, pick which outfit I would choose for myself. Don't point it out until I tell you I've made my decision."
You're sitting, waiting for an appointment or at one of your child's activities. You're riding in your car. It's seemingly wasted idle time, but in reality it's the prime time to have fun and learn something about your friends and family. It's free time, literally free fuel time.
Taking turns picking our favorite outfits was a fun game. I think we had a accuracy rate of 80%. "Why did you pick that?" I learned more about how her outer style reflects her inner spirit; earthy, eclectic, whimsy.
Sharing and having fun is the best fuel. You don't need to spend money going to the movies, bowling or going on an expensive vacation to fuel the fun. What fun, free games do you play? When and where? What do you learn about your friends and family members?
A Tote B*a*g that's a Traveling Sanctuary ~ You're the Traveling Sanctuary
A Tote B*a*g that coaches ~ It's not a Coach Bag
A Tote B*a*g that reminds you to fuel yourself first ~ Self Care, Not Selfish Care
A Tote B*a*g that is a conversation piece ~ It voices your passions and starts a conversation
A Tote B*a*g that supports the empowerment of women.
Discover Your B*a*g ~ We want to share your story. Your B*a*g fuels the Believe Act Go Traveling Sanctuary of others.
Proceeds of tote bag sales benefit Enchanted Makeovers and The Angela Shelton Foundation, two non-profit organizations that empower healing and leading joyful lives.
Nothing will give you tunnel vision like four pregnancies and sucking down Minnesota's version of Seven Eleven's Big Slurpee. It's 250 miles into the 286 mile trip and I must say the words he dreads most. "Tom, I need to go to the bathroom." What is it about men and road trips? Their inner race car driver comes out. "I was on a record pace. Seriously, can't you make it 30 more miles. I told you not to drink that huge cup of iced tea." (image provided under creative commons license flickr user smaedli)
"Um..... No!" You know the feeling. It's like one minute dry as a desert, over-filled water balloon the next. Your insides are holding onto the knotted end as it hangs lower with each targeted pothole the husband conveniently hits like a down hill skier making every gate. "No talking, joking or laughing. Mom's concentrating." One more jolt and it will certainly burst. We've made the trip to my parents hundreds of times and I've been in every bathroom along the way, dirty and clean. I see the sign. It's a beacon of relief. "Tom, next exit. Don't you dare drive past."
The Potty Dance
I walk into the gas station/restaurant/truck stop as casual as possible. Ho Hum. Don't mind me, cool mama coming though. Great, I've got to sneeze. Casually stop. Bring the knees together. Squeeze. Sneeze. I sprint the last 10 feet to to the ladies room. Damn it's locked. I turn to check the mens room. And wouldn't you know, it appears hubby was craddling his own filled balloon. TIME FOR THE POTTY DANCE. "Doing the potty dance. Doing potty dance." Just when you think you couldn't make it another second the bathroom is available. I'll spare you my embarrassing pee in my pants story for another post.
It's interesting how my brain stores the maps to every ladies rooms I've ever used. In the door, take a right, then a left, straight back. For instance, the ladies room, at an office where I used to work, was always on the right and the mens room was always on the left. It was a pretty big office and each paired restrooms were laid out this way. A year ago they downsized and moved the corporate office. I don't work at the corporate office any longer, but occasionally need to spend the day there. On one of those days, soon after arriving the morning tea runs its course and I make my way to the right hand ladies room. Door open. Man washing hands. Dang! Who is the heck changes a right turning ladies room into a left turning ladies room?
Today, I stopped at the busiest convenient store/gas station in town, to use the restroom. They had remodeled some months back and guess what? They turned their left turned ladies room into a right turned ladies room. Door open. Urinal. Palm. Forehead. Smack!
There's this other time when the door back into the office from the engineering lab was one of four identical looking doors. Yep you know the story. That makes 3 times I've accidentally walked into the mens restroom.
Signs, Maps, GPS Systems
Now wouldn't it make more sense to have a sign like this posted outside. It would keep the men out and women would definitely know that room was their room. Another piece of advise to architects on proper sign placement. Put the sign on the door. Not to the side. That just makes me second guess which door it is. (cartoon provided by HikingArtist.com)
Today when I planted my eyes on that urinate I thought to myself, "I wonder if I've gone into the mens room on other days and not realized it." No really, I thought, "In what other areas of my life am I on auto pilot, ignoring the signs"
It's so easy to follow our pre-subscribed maps. Safe, familiar, predictable seems to be the only logical course to take. I have a map for that. Two blocks, left, two blocks, right, 6 miles, right, 10 miles, right, 5 blocks, left,2 blocks, right into the parking lot. Sure my eyes are on the road, but guess what? I don't look at the signs anymore. No need. I know the way too well.
I go to a lot of soccer games at remote soccer fields in towns I've never been. I take a map, use my GPS and I follow the signs. Sometimes the maps and the GPS don't agree. Almost always the signs are right. Some of them are small and hard to read, which means I have to slow down to read them. I've never not gotten un-lost and the kids have always made the game. (What the heck does never not gotten un-lost mean? I confuse myself and apparently use improper grammar.)
Here's me in auto pilot mode. There are sure signs of me not facing my fears and traveling within my auto pilot map.
Quick to anger and unwilling to stop for potty breaks for fear of not breaking my own record. Its all about me.
I don't dance (unless I have to pee) and there is no laughter
I procrastinate by doing busy work
I own stuff I don't need or have a personal connection
There's a toy box full of McDonald's Happy Meal Toys (auto pilot drive-thru)
We didn't own a dog
I don't listen
I raise my voice
I defined my quality of life by my income
I thought when girls didn't go the college they got married
We've reached the (dead) end......
Here's some food for thought. Leave the map at home. Set out on an adventure and follow the signs. Don't be afraid of getting lost. Flip a coin. Left is heads, right is tails. Oh and before your go, DRINK A BIG OLE 44 OUNCE CUP OF SOMETHING, GET PREPARED TO LAUGH YOUR ASS OFF AND THEN PEE YOUR PANTS!!
